Private

I don’t know about you, but I am always fascinated by the parts of knitting that we don’t usually share. The wrong side, the private side. But then again I search for patterns that don’t have a right or a wrong side – being totally reversible is cool, especially for objects that get used or you just know they are never going to be wrong side down all the time.

Right – wrong – public – private. We have so many back and white kind of words like, you know, black and white. I hate black and white. I love the colors, but I hate the concept of totally one or the other.

Yes, this is about life and knitting. Knitting and life, a life filled with knitting and thinking.

I joke with my students and clients that I would really like to be able to take a vacation from my own head/brain. If I could just turn it off for maybe a weekend. Sure, I can kick back and be different, but the thoughts are usually there in the background…

I wonder why my business isn’t so busy anymore – is that *good* or *bad*? Yes, it is nice to kick back and get a little down time, but having a bit of money doesn’t hurt. I wonder if I should get a *real* job? I wonder it that would be like giving up? What would happen if I took a vacation from my teaching? I wonder if I would be happy with a regular job

On and on, damn that monkey mind – Gah!

I know that when I start getting fussy about things aka life, then it is time for a project break. But to be a good girl, I made sure that most of the finished blankets were really done – all the ends tucked in and such. I have left the blanket of a million ends and the not so evil younger brother waiting till I get back in my groove.

Time for a little me time! Hand towels! Dish cloths! Here we go!!!

First, my cherry moss square hand towel – sized for a person who doesn’t have huge hands (that is what I am saying out loud but in my head=didn’t have enough yarn – dang!):
cherrytowel

Shown with the partial list of other stitches that would make nice towels, and the small bit of a ball band dish cloth.

My first ball band dish cloth. Amazing, I didn’t know what I was missing. I am in serious love with how these things feel. But back to the top of the post. I always wondered what the back side looked like. Why don’t most people show the side I want to see? I really want to see the side you aren’t showing to me. I think there are other people *out there* who want to see too. So here it is, the private side of a ball band dish cloth. (I can only imagine how many weird hits this post is going to get)

private

Meh. But the front side is pretty. I am set to make a gazillion of them, so be forewarned.

Back to life, if you care to follow. I am in the process of making some big changes in my life. Being unbalanced isn’t the best part of me. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE change, but when the change has to do with how I see myself and what that means, it can get icky messy. A little bit too real. Having Buddhist leanings I know that I need to be okay with all parts of myself – public and private, not so icky and icky, good and whatever. I am usually okay with that but I realize other people aren’t quite okay with me being different. That part sucks. And sometimes I wish I wasn’t aware enough to notice.

But then a few heartbeats later I realize that it (whatever the it is) really doesn’t matter all that much. I have a very blessed life, full of friends and family, with an amazing heap of stuff all around me ;-).

Anyway. Enough of the rambling. I am hoping that you are feeling whatever it is that you need to feel this moment. Right now I am choosing happiness and

Peace

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3 thoughts on “Private

  1. Gorgeous ballband – I love those colors! I knew you’d love making them. I think I need to make a dishcloth with that cherry moss square pattern – I love it!

  2. I completely fell in love with the ballband dish cloth, too. Who cares if the back isn’t as pretty? It has an interesting rhythm to it, too.

    I designed a felted tote based on the slip stitch pattern. The inside and outside are equally pretty! Only slightly different.

    The cherry moss hand towel looks luscious! But now I want to see the other side. 🙂

  3. You keep changing, Susan. Those who love you still will love when you change. Life IS change. May your change be blessed with peace and grace and may you be comfortable with your “private” becoming public.

    Namaste.

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