Private

I don’t know about you, but I am always fascinated by the parts of knitting that we don’t usually share. The wrong side, the private side. But then again I search for patterns that don’t have a right or a wrong side – being totally reversible is cool, especially for objects that get used or you just know they are never going to be wrong side down all the time.

Right – wrong – public – private. We have so many back and white kind of words like, you know, black and white. I hate black and white. I love the colors, but I hate the concept of totally one or the other.

Yes, this is about life and knitting. Knitting and life, a life filled with knitting and thinking.

I joke with my students and clients that I would really like to be able to take a vacation from my own head/brain. If I could just turn it off for maybe a weekend. Sure, I can kick back and be different, but the thoughts are usually there in the background…

I wonder why my business isn’t so busy anymore – is that *good* or *bad*? Yes, it is nice to kick back and get a little down time, but having a bit of money doesn’t hurt. I wonder if I should get a *real* job? I wonder it that would be like giving up? What would happen if I took a vacation from my teaching? I wonder if I would be happy with a regular job

On and on, damn that monkey mind – Gah!

I know that when I start getting fussy about things aka life, then it is time for a project break. But to be a good girl, I made sure that most of the finished blankets were really done – all the ends tucked in and such. I have left the blanket of a million ends and the not so evil younger brother waiting till I get back in my groove.

Time for a little me time! Hand towels! Dish cloths! Here we go!!!

First, my cherry moss square hand towel – sized for a person who doesn’t have huge hands (that is what I am saying out loud but in my head=didn’t have enough yarn – dang!):

Shown with the partial list of other stitches that would make nice towels, and the small bit of a ball band dish cloth.

My first ball band dish cloth. Amazing, I didn’t know what I was missing. I am in serious love with how these things feel. But back to the top of the post. I always wondered what the back side looked like. Why don’t most people show the side I want to see? I really want to see the side you aren’t showing to me. I think there are other people *out there* who want to see too. So here it is, the private side of a ball band dish cloth. (I can only imagine how many weird hits this post is going to get)

Meh. But the front side is pretty. I am set to make a gazillion of them, so be forewarned.

Back to life, if you care to follow. I am in the process of making some big changes in my life. Being unbalanced isn’t the best part of me. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE change, but when the change has to do with how I see myself and what that means, it can get icky messy. A little bit too real. Having Buddhist leanings I know that I need to be okay with all parts of myself – public and private, not so icky and icky, good and whatever. I am usually okay with that but I realize other people aren’t quite okay with me being different. That part sucks. And sometimes I wish I wasn’t aware enough to notice.

But then a few heartbeats later I realize that it (whatever the it is) really doesn’t matter all that much. I have a very blessed life, full of friends and family, with an amazing heap of stuff all around me ;-).

Anyway. Enough of the rambling. I am hoping that you are feeling whatever it is that you need to feel this moment. Right now I am choosing happiness and

Peace